The Man

During my first semester of grad school, I went to a lecture by Edward Seidensticker. There I was, all shiny and enthusiastic, ready to devote nearly all the hours of my days to the study of Japanese literature. (Why? Who the fuck knows why. At the time, it mattered to me.) And the man himself, the translator of The Tale of Genji and other classic works of Japanese lit, was going to be coming to campus where I would be able to hear the word and the wisdom direct from the source.
Jim and I sat in the darkened auditorium in great anticipation. Seidensticker was one of the gods of our realm and he was right there, up on the stage. And what did the great one do but bitch about Japan for two hours and at the end of the talk, during the question and answer session, said that he thought, after all the years he had put into it, that in the end it really hadn't been worth it to devote his life to studying Japan. I was speechless and astonished. He said that twelve years ago, and he said much the same 42 years ago, but he's still there. I understand in a way. I still struggle in a love-hate relationship with Japan because I went over thinking I was all grown up and it turned out it was where I learned to be an adult. I took on attitudes and beliefs that ultimately didn't work for me. It was such a great challenge and I tried so hard to ace it that I got too wrapped up in trying to figure out the rules and win the game. It became comfortable to be the outsider. I knew how to play that. But that moment in the auditorium had seared itself into my brain and made things that much easier when I realized it was time to let go and move on from Japan.
This brief trip down memory lane was brought to you by this
article about Seidensticker's latest book which I found via Robert Brady.