Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Unbelievable

I used to work with Craig and would sometimes go out with him for beers. He wasn't married back then. His story is heartbreaking.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Can Dogs be Agoraphobic?

I think my dog is.

Best summer snacking is found in my backyard.

Sure summer, get all nice and perfect right before I'm heading off to Japan where everyone is telling me it's crazy hot and humid.

That is all.

Wednesday, July 01, 2009

Holding Pattern

So, late tomorrow night (tonight I suppose, but in reality early Friday morning) my girl is starting off on her journey to Japan with her dad for most of the month. It's kind of freaking me out. (Kind of might be an understatement.) She is going with her father and staying with her grandparents and rationally I understand that it's highly likely that everything will be fine, but the non-rational part of me is not happy that my only baby is going to be so far away from me on the other side of the planet. I'm not handling it particularly well and I'm afraid I'm going to eventually turn into one of those wacky basketcase empty-nest moms when she finishes high school and leaves for college.
When I was going through the divorce I was really afraid my ex might try to take her back to Japan, in which case I would have been screwed because Japan basically condones parental kidnapping by Japanese parents. (See here if you really want to get into). It obviously didn't happen but it was a huge fear of mine for a long time. My girl is no longer the compliant little buttercup she used to be. She's about to become a high school freshman and has that "kicking ass and taking names" attitude some kids develop at that age. (It can lead to recklessness, but it can also lead to not taking anyone else's shit, which I think is good in this situation.) I'm pretty sure one within one day her grandparents will start lamenting that she will have to leave them at the end of the month and they will do that emotional pressure thing they are so skillful at, where you feel like you should sacrifice your own interests because they're old and will be sad. (Well, I got sucked into that whole thing WAY more than I ever should have, but maybe that is just me.) I've made sure the girl has the information she needs to get help from me and several other people she can count on, if it comes to that. I'm even going to be in Japan myself for about half the time she is there. And yet, I'm still holding on to something that keeps me a twitch away from breaking into tears at any moment.
I'm mostly trying to cope by incessant internet surfing, watching stupid tv and knitting. (Kind of like a self-induced stupor without substances.) I break that up with yoga, trips to the gym and walking the dog. I feel better if I don't talk much and my appetite is pretty much shot, but that's good because it's helped me drop about 3 pounds and if I drop a couple more before I go then I will have reached the high side of an "acceptable" weight versus the actual weight I have weighed since about last summer, which is 5-10 pounds on the unacceptable side. (And which is not even all that terrible or health-threatening or anything. I just don't like those numbers.)
So, now that I've shared probably too much info, I guess I can go to bed. I think I've been staying up so late because it lets me sleep in later in the morning. This stupid wet, gloomy, sunless weather isn't helping me much either.

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Work Stress + Sore Neck=Poetry?

It's easy to admire the girl from afar
seeming so deep with her angst and guitar
Her anguish illuminates your eyes
You hope your support will advise
the continuity of her art
Although another way to read her is
self absorbed and shallow heart
if it makes you feel attached to her dim orb
you put your attentions in the abstract
and not where you are

---

It's easier to love the idea of someone
than to actually love someone.
It's easy to admire their differences
when you don't have to live with them.
The grass is always greener
when you don't have to mow it.
The bird in the bush is prettier
than the one on the carving board.
But the one on the carving board feeds you.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Proposition

I was reminded that it was time for me to write my monthly blog post. Seems to be about the pace I'm keeping these days. And just to show what a yarn/knitting slut I can really be, I am propositioning anyone who still reads this to complete some random stranger's (but she's a knitter, so how bad can she be?) survey and then leave me a comment (or an email if you have that info) with the random number you selected and the sex/gender you entered so I can steal your effort and get myself better odds at winning Ravelry swag.
Of course, if you want your own Ravelry swag just take your own info and email it to her and steal my lock on the prizes. If this is all nonsense to you, just go take the survey and let me know your secret random number. Please.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Why All This Connectedness Doesn't Suck

I'll admit this blog is one of many that has fallen by the wayside as the latest wave of social networking sites has occupied my attention. Is that good? Is it bad? I'll reserve the value judgments for now.
One thing I can tell you that is good is that I can probably attribute a totally unanticipated 30 minute phone call this morning with one of my best friends from college who lives on the other side of the world to all the new fangled sns sites. He got me to join Twitter last month, which gives me a window onto his day to day doings. We were both logged into Gmail chat this morning and started chatting, which led to him asking if he could call so we could talk, which is a hell of a lot more efficient and fun than chatting online anyway. With really good friends the catching up part really never matters that much anyway, but at least the new networking options help us stay caught up.

Monday, March 02, 2009

Oh Gee. This Is Like..Shocking




Your Word is "Think"



You see life as an amazing mix of possibilities, ideas, and fascinations.

And sometimes you feel like you don't have enough time to take it all in.



You love learning. Whether you're in school or not, you're probably immersed in several subjects right now.

When you're not learning, you're busy reflecting. You think a lot about the people you know and the things you've experienced.



I'm so suprised...not.

Sunday, February 08, 2009

For Knitters Only

If thrums are supposed to be a "gateway drug" to spinning, I think I am in no danger of developing a spinning addiction. Making thrums is a pain in the ass.

 
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