Sunday, November 21, 2004

Weak End?

On Saturday morning I had the dubious honor of attending a child impact seminar for fours, for which I paid $75. This all thanks to the court system of NH which orders all divorcing parents to participate in the seminar. It was well run and actually pretty good, as far as sitting in a room for four hours with 20 other strangers going through their own personal crises can be. There were two presenters, one male, one female, who traded on and off throughout the session. Verbal participation was completely voluntary and at first I kept my mouth shut, but the ever attentive student within me couldn't help but pipe up with comments and contributions as time went on and the presenters elicited comments and responses.
It was good information that they put forth and the emphasis was on learning how to communicate effectively with your co-parent for the best interests of your children. But that's only going to work when both parents are interested in making it work. It can't work when someone is keeping score. I've read lots of books and they all say if you want to do what's in the best interest of your child, stay out of court, suck it up, be adults, sit down with a mediator and work it out. That doesn't work when only one side is willing to do that and the other one interprets the suggestion to pursue that path as an admission of guilt, an attempt at sneakiness or just plain old weakness. Or perhaps the other side is so afraid to take responsibility for the outcome that they would rather put it in the hands of some stranger with a title.
God, I can't wait for this shit to be over and done with.

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