Up and Down

I went to see Bob Dylan and his band with my boyfriend last night. It was an interesting and entertaining show. The way Dylan phrases his songs started to remind me of Louis Armstrong doing What a Wonderful World. I don't intend that as a criticism, just an observation. Despite being a little disappointed that Dylan played keyboards all night and never once touched a guitar, I was happy to be able to go see a living legend perform live and there were many moments of great music and great musicianship during the evening. I also enjoyed checking out the crowd almost as much as the show itself. Lots of old hippies and old hippies with their late teen/early twenties children in attendance. I heard a guy sitting near us say to a friend, "I saw him back in 64!" That's cool. I wasn't even alve then. I hope we're still going to see rock shows twenty or thirty years from now.I started to wonder who will still be around and playing then. So far the only sure candidate I came up with was Dave Grohl. Anyway, last night was good.
This morning I slept in until 8 and then went for a walk since it was an unseasonably warm day. The phone rang just as I got back home. It was my sister wanting to know if I was interested in meeting her for breakfast. We just got together for lunch on Tuesday, but sometimes we go weeks without seeing each other, so I knew I wanted to take the chance since it had presented itself. We met at Harvery's Bakery and had a nice breakfast and gabfest. Harvey's may well be my favorite downtown Dover breakfast spot, especially since they always give you a little piece of a danish or some other pastry with your order.
Breakfast was good. It meant I got to school later than I had intended and didn't get as much work done as I had meant to. I figured I could end the 2 hour class a little early and get it done after.
I got to class a little after noon and a couple of the students suggested we check out the International Food Lunch being held on campus at the international dorm from 11-2. We have a two hour long class on Friday. I didn't have anything particularly exciting planned for today and we had a Japanese grad student visiting the class for the day, so I decided we could go spend the second part of class "being international". There was a good variety of food and the day was nice so we all sat outside on a porch and ate and talked. I had a blast watching how everyone interacts outside of class. This is my second year working with this group of students and I really enjoy them all as people, as well as students. There's a nice mix of personalities in the class and they've really come together as a group.
After lunch we went to the Dairy Bar. A couple of the students had previously told me they wanted to take the Japanese student to the Dairy Bar and show him how ice cream is done here in NH, so they invited him and me and the rest of the class to come along. Most of us who didn't have other things to do joined in. I hadn't planned on eating ice cream. I hadn't even planned on eating lunch at school, but sometimes you need to take advantage of opportunities when they arise. It was fun watching the students use the language they have been studying in an actual conversation with a native speaker of the language. They make me feel like no matter what happens with my job at that school in the future, at least I have accomplished something while I've been there.
So where's the down side to my Up and Down title? Well, I'm in the middle of a divorce and interwoven through all these nice happenings are dealings with my lawyer and my ex over custody arrangements for the holidays. I'm trying to realize that this time through, the whole season is probably going to suck bad for me. I just want it to be as good as it can be for my girl. Ever since my junior year of high school, when my younger sister flipped out for good and got committed to a psychiatric hospital just days before Thanksgiving , the holidays have not been the easiest of seasons for me. I still get caught up having to decide how to spend which days and occasions with my own parents. Now it's got double layers because I have to figure out when I can be with my own child and then which of my own parents we're going to spend time with on what occasion. She never really got to celebrate Thanksgiving or Christmas while we were in Japan and I was so happy when we came back here and she had the chance to have a "real" holiday season. For one holiday season, anyway. Basically, just thinking about it makes me feel like my heart is being ripped out of my chest. So I suppose that makes it even that much more important to take advantage of those spur of the moment chances to make connections with the people around me.
All of the people who are close to me keep telling me, "It's not going to be like this forever. You're going to get through it and you'll be fine." I like to hear that. It's easy to lose sight of that in the day to day when it seems like this has all been going on for so long.