Valentine's Day

I've never blogged about Valentine's Day before. That was because I never really got to celebrate it and it was easier to just ignore the topic than admit to having any thoughts or feelings on the matter.
As you may or may not know, I spent 12 years of my adult life living in Japan and in Japan the holiday is about women giving chocolate to men. Period. I always thought that sucked and I always felt cheated. Men do not give valentines to women. People do not give valentines to family members. I don't even think that many wives give valentines to their husbands. Basically single women have to give chocolate to the men they are fond of and they have to give obligatory chocolate (giri chocho) to the guys they work with. This is supposedly paid back on March 14, which is White Day. The only White Day gift I ever recall getting was a pair of underpants from a student I taught at Berlitz who gave them to me as kind of a joke. And they weren't white.
Valentine's Day was fun in elementary school. We had parties with cupcakes, Necco sweethearts and valentine cards. I don't remember celebrating the day much after that, although I always got cards and sometimes candy from my parents. My ex never celebrated Valentine's Day with me, not even when my brother in law tried to coach him by explaining that it was important in this culture and therefore probably important to me. Maybe he just didn't want to fake expressing an emotion he didn't feel anymore , but the ex claimed that since he was Japanese it wasn't part of his culture to express himself that way. I suppose Valentine's Day last year was sort of the final straw. I started to admit to myself that I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with someone who couldn't be bothered to let me know that he loved me. Who couldn't be bothered because in all probability he didn't feel it. I got tired of pretending it didn't matter to me.
So, that brings us to this year. My life is completely different now. It's completely different because my life is my own now and I have someone I love with all my heart who loves me right back. I had written the whole thing off, to be honest. I knew the whole love thing was an illusion and a dream and something I wasn't ever going to find for real, so I should just stop hoping. But the way life has unfolded over the past year or so has been so incredible and has restored my faith in so many things. I'm not naive enough to think that it's all clear skies, puppies and butterflies from here on out, but I do believe that sometimes you really do get what you need.