Yesterday in the car my girl asked me how you can know that a guy won't get all lazy and sloppy after you get married. I thought it was a pretty brilliant question. Really, how can you tell?
She was fairly detailed in her line of questioning. "Do you have to start yelling at him all the time? Like if he leaves dirty underwear on the couch do you say "Hey! Don't leave your dirty underwear on the couch!" (leaving dirty underwear on the couch? ew.)
I talked about relationships always needing time and attention from both partners and that it is important to pay attention to the way he treats you before you decide to get married. I pointed out that a guy who is a fun boyfriend isn't always a great choice for a husband.
My mother never discussed this kind of thing with me or my sisters. I remember asking for advice over whether or not I should call a boy I liked in fifth grade and her comment was "I'm not interested in boys. I prefer men." That didn't help me much. Not many men attending the fifth grade and if there were a fifth grade girl should steer clear, I figure.
I told my girl to keep asking questions. It's fun talking about that kind of stuff with her. I told her no one gave me any advice and I wish they had somewhere along the way. Even if you reject the advice you get, at least the advice giver made you stop and think about it. When I said that the girls said, "Oh, you mean hear me now, listen to me later." She's an awfully smart cookie for a ten year old.