Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Some Days Are Special. Life is Now

Today is my ex's birthday. I took my girl out to buy a card and a present for him earlier in the week. Last year she didn't want me to take her to do that, but this year we did. I explained to her that it's important to celebrate days that are special with the people you love and that you shouldn't miss an opportunity to let people know you care about them. He was never much one for making an occasion of birthdays or anniversaries and that played a part in why things didn't work out between us. Even if you aren't special to everyone else in the world, you want to feel that you're at least special to the people who supposedly love you.
It's been a year and eight months since we separated and almost a year and a half since I filed divorce papers, but the damn thing isn't over yet and I don't really know when it will be. A year ago I thought I would burst into flames if the divorce wasn't finalized by the end of the year. Surprisingly, I remain un-ignited. Some day it will be done. I'd like it to be sooner rather than later, but in the meantime I'm feeling better about going ahead and living my life without feeling like it will only really start once the papers have been signed. My life is as real now as it's ever going to be. It's probably also as complicated and complex as it's ever going to be. There's really nothing else to do but remember to keep breathing and move forward.

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