Some Days You Eat The Bear

A couple of weeks ago I attended the wedding of some friends and my sister read a poem called The Invitation as part of the ceremony. I've been thinking about this poem on and off since then. It was a bold choice for a wedding, but that suits the couple perfectly.
One stanza of the poem reads,

"It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy."

I found myself going over and around those lines in my head like a wiggly tooth. I've wrestled with that bear in the past. After wading through the mossy questions of "gee, is this an appropriate wedding sentiment?" and "can being faithless lead to being trustworthy?", I can see now that the betrayals I committed in the past all stemmed from an inability to admit the truth to myself, or even worse, an inability and unwillingness to share that truth with those who needed to know it. It's not good enough to flow along just to minimize friction. You need to hold your ground in the small daily struggles so everyone knows who you really are, even when that means you really are unpleasant. So you don't end up creating another shadow life to escape from the one you live and secretly despise.