At Last

What a day.

Just before she went to bed my daughter told me, "I feel so safe now that Obama is president."

I like that she feels safe. I feel a little safer too, but I know there are still many hardships for this country to overcome.

I was teaching the first Intro to Japanese Culture class of the semester today from 11 to 12:30 and I took the class into the language lab next door to watch the swearing in and the new President's speech. As we embark on a semester of learning about another country's culture it seemed important that we experience this huge change happening in our own and to see where we stand at this moment in time and what we stand for. I wouldn't understand half as much about myself and my culture as I do now if I hadn't spent so many years abroad. Sometimes you need a foil to see what it usually as invisible as air.

I feel like I learned a lot today about who we are as a country and how we are beginning to succeed in taking it back and making it for everyone. The President quoted George Washington about faith and virtue. Seems like it's high time for a return to virtue.

What Matters Matters And The Rest Does Not

I had another birthday. It was pretty good. I got to celebrate a few days early with my little tribe. It was my turn to be banished to the basement while the rest of the tribe baked me a yummy cake. (chocolate cake!!!) I got cool and useful presents: a ball winder for yarn, a new bag for my gym sneakers and a new shirt to work out in. We went out to dinner on The Official Day, as well.
The biggest surprise was hearing from half a dozen (!) former students who sent me birthday greetings through Facebook and other SNS sites and my intermediate class who wrote birthday greetings to me on the classroom white board in Japanese when I was out of the room between classes. The new number that attaches to me for the next 364 days is surprisingly not really on my mind much, but knowing that I have a great guy, a wonderful daughter, and current and former students who have taken a moment or two out of their day to touch base and wish me well really makes me happier than you'd think it might.

"This Is the End of My Childhood!"

So proclaimed The Girl as she headed back into the dark, tropical depths of the orthodontist's office this morning to have her braces put on. This event was preceded by many days of pre-teen angst and fluttering of stomach. There was some pouting for a short while after the procedure was finished, but all in all I think it wasn't nearly as painful or horrid as she had suspected it would be.
My favorite moment of the day happened right before the appointment. I left work and picked The Girl up from school in my usual t00-prompt manner and we were almost at the orthodontist's office nearly 15 minutes earlier than the appointment time. There's a market right nearby so we decided to go in and see if they had any soft food (for later) or soon-to-be forbidden food she might want to get. We ended up sitting in the car in parking lot of the orthodontist's office with a small container of sour gummy worms on this completely gray, rainy, messy disgusting February day, recklessly eating gummy worms and cracking up at our own dorkiness. Good times!

The Year That Was

With it being the end of the year and all I figured it was time to take stock of what I accomplished this year and put down some goals for next year. I realize this is probably less than entertaining for you all, but if my main reason for keeping this blog was to be entertaining I'd have to be working a lot harder at it than I do. So there.

Big Things That Happened in 2007

• My divorce was finally finalized
• We moved into our house
• I got a "real" job, meaning I basically kept the same job but now with more money and benefits. (Who says hanging on for 4 years without any promise of advancement isn't a real career strategy?)
  
• Met my freelance translation earnings goals for the year, which was about double what I earned last year.
  
• Joined a Knitter's group and now have much more inspiration to feed my knitting obession!
  
• Stayed a fairly acceptable weight despite quitting WW. I could only go so long calculating the damn Points Value of everything.
  
• We went on a real family vacation in the summer and it was a blast.
  
• I went on a "girls only" overnight with my girl. Should definitely repeat that in 2008.
  
• Ate good sushi in Boston with my sis. Is this the end of my cityphobia?
  
• Traded in my old car for one that seems nearly new and also has 4 wheel drive.
• Had a lot of fun at work.
• Hiked another 4,000 footer.
• Had my therapist set me loose after determining that I'm really not struggling with too much any more. I agreed, but it was like taking off the training wheels.
  

Happy

Wow. I was going to try to be eloquent and write gracefully about my ex-mother in law, but I'm feeling too happy for eloquent execution right now. My former mother in law has called me recently because of some paperwork she needed me to sign regarding some investments she made in my daughter's name. With the divorce and all I hadn't spoken to her for a couple of years and knowing the typical Japanese reaction to divorce and the acrimony of my ex, I figured the whole family probably hated me.
I was wrong.
My mother in law called last week, and along with discussing the business part of things, we also did a lot of catching up. She told me she still considers me her daughter (she grew up the youngest of five or six girls and then went on to have two sons herself) and invited me to stay at the house when I visit Japan next summer. It made me very happy to talk with her and to hear that she is well and doesn't have any hard feelings.
She called again this morning to let me know she received the documents I sent and to thank me. We chatted some more. She told me again that despite the divorce, she still thinks of me as her daughter and once again said to come stay with them next summer. At the end of this call I had my wits about me enough to ask her to give my regards to her husband.
My ex-father in law and I have had some rough moments. I've spent a fair amount of time being pissed off at him for blaming me for his dissatisfactions with his son. I kind of figured we were definitely on the outs now, no matter what my mother in law said because I know she's the kind of person who will do as she wishes even if it rubs him the wrong way.
Well, after I said "please send my regards" she put him on the phone. He sounded healthy and cheerful and , dare I say it, happy to be speaking with me! He also told me I was their daughter and to stay healthy and come stay with them next year.
This whole development really blows my mind. In a good way.

My Second Favorite to the Darwin Awards

Yeah! The 2007 Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest winners have been announced. Read through the Vile Puns winners and dishonorable mentions and see if you can keep from rolling your eyes and possibly groaning. Fun!

Noniversary

Tomorrow will mark the first time in 17 years that July 27 will not be my wedding anniversary.
Seventeen years.
That's crazy.
That's a hell of a long time.
And sometimes it seems like it all happened in another lifetime. I don't think I'm that same person anymore. The one who chose to behave badly in reaction to a bad relationship rather than be courageous enough to leave it. I don't regret the choices I made because I had to make them based on where I was at the time (and the way the laws work there). But now it doesn't seem possible that I would ever convince myself it was worth staying so unhappy for so long.
Sometimes I'd like to go back and smack that old me upside the head for hiding my head in the sand. Except that playing woulda-coulda-shoulda is such a waste of time.

The Cure for Blah

I've been working at a job I love for the last 4 years. The compensation has been minimal and the tangible benefits (in the HR sense) non-existent. Despite that, I chugged away because I was doing something I love to do, living where I want to live and getting by thanks to the support of the people who love me. In my experience, that ranks as a pretty decent way of life, so I tried not to worry too much about it. Still, I always felt apologetic about the pitiful paychecks and, honestly, felt ashamed that the knowledge and skill I possess was worth so little in the eyes of the people who employed me. If they didn't think much of it, how could I? (Yeah, yeah, I know my earnings should not form the basis of my self-worth, but the truth is it does come into play.)

Well, today has been my lucky day. Or my pay off day. I was offered a lectureship position by my boss that will slightly increase my course load and more than double my salary, plus I will receive full benefits such as health insurance and the ability to open a retirement savings account. So, am I kicking back on the deck with a pina colada and some light summer reading to celebrate? Not exactly. I'm looking around trying to figure out how I want to structure the Japanese Culture course I'll be teaching next spring! But I also stopped by the public library and checked out a novel by David Liss and now I think I and a glass of cold jasmine tea will head out to the deck for some reading, at least until the current load of laundry is done...

Emptying the Cup

Last night was my girl's last night staying in the apartment. (She stays with her father from tonight until the weekend.) She was very cute about it. Her best friend, who lives across the street, called her shortly before supper time and asked if she would like to go on a walk with her, her dad and her little brother. Although she was a little hesitant, my girl decided to go since it was a "last chance" kind of thing. As seven o'clock started to roll around and my stomach started to growl, I text messaged the girl to ask when she was coming home to eat our Moe's. She showed up at the door a few minutes later, out of breath, sweaty and a little angry . It seems her friend kept urging her dad to make the walk longer and longer and during that time my girl decided she was sorry she had gone in the first place because she wanted to spend as much time as she could with me in the apartment on our last night here together. She's such a sweetie.
We had our sandwiches and shared a bag of salt and vinegar chips. Then we settled into the couch (loveseat, really) to watch American Idol and did our best to finish up all the ice cream in the freezer so I don't have to move it or throw it out. She was so aware that everything she did, she was doing it for the last time here. She even made a point to pause and ask for a "last hug" in the apartment before I took her to school this morning. I keep reassuring her that we'll still be together, but I also understand how she feels.
We're both excited about the move, but I think it's natural to feel some uncertainty. We've been settled into our routines for a few years now and they are comfortable and comforting to us. But change is a constant in life and we can create new routines and new comforts and adapt the ones we have to new situations. Letting go of the familiar is always difficult, but it's the only way to keep moving forward.

Is This It?

According to the official date of the last paper issued by the court, today should be the day my divorce becomes final. (Our divorce? hmm, somehow that sounds funny since a divorce is all about the rendering apart and nothing "our" about it at all.) If no other appeals or motions have been filed then today should be the day. I probably won't receive any notification about it for another several weeks, if the pacing of prior events is anything to go on.
It's been nearly three years since I left him and many more than that since I realized I needed to leave. The trial was eight months ago. The preliminary hearing was about a year before that. It has been so long and dragged out that I'm not sure if this piece of paper is going to make me feel any different. But maybe I'll feel a slightly richer taste of freedom. I moved on so long ago in my heart and mind, now I guess the rest of me is free to follow.

'Tis The Season to be Jolly

Well, what do you know? Today is Global Orgasm Day. Make sure you don't forget to celebrate!
(heh, Chosen is going to be so bummed I found this before him!)

Happy Winter Solstice

It's 4:50 pm and black as night out there. Except for the lights of the Christmas trees and decorations shining in the windows and around the houses and yards of the neighborhood. I chuckled as I drove to the grocery store a little after 3 this afternoon and saw the sun was already starting to drop. Time to hunker down, light the candles on the menorah once my girl gets here. I think she's here now. Bye!

Every Ninja Has Its Day

I walked into my first class this morning and with my superior powers of perception noted that three students were dressed as ninjas. I said, "Okay. I see ninjas. What's with that?" I was promptly informed that today is Ninja Day. (Like, duuuh. God, Sensei, don't you know anything?) And indeed it really is Ninja Day. Next year I'll have to remember to mark the occasion by making origami shuriken in class.