Confession

Jim C's observation that band drama is like high school dating is really spot on. It's still got me kind of wigged out, but I guess this is part of it too. I think we'll feel freer to write more now. Stef's lyrics tend to be sort of wistful and lovely and the stuff I come up with ends up being kind of cynical and bitter, such appealing qualities. It's always stuff that makes me cringe at the thought of my parents hearing or reading it. I guess it's one place I feel free to express sentiments I'd be too chicken to express face to face.

And speaking of bringing up tender topics...
Last weekend while enjoying the brunch buffet at Abercrombie and Fitch (very nice, btw), my dad mentioned he'd be going back to Weight Watchers this week. We used to go together when I was 10 years old and wearing 32-inch waist, boy's ToughSkins jeans because they were the only thing that fit me. I was a big fat little girl and my parents were concerned, so when my dad joined Weight Watchers when I was 10, he took me along with him. I went for about a year and even though it was a hard thing to face for a shy 4th grade girl, I did it and learned a lot about good nutrition and good choices and habits. I've more or less dwelled on the sturdy, healthy girl side of things since then.
My niece is a lot like I was. Sometimes I get the oddest sensation of watching myself as I was when I see her. She also eats like I did. My dad offered to take her to WW, which I thought was a wonderful idea. I also thought she might not be entirely comfortable in the situation. Then a lightbulb flashed on over my head; I'd go with them. I went when I was her age. She knows that and knows I can relate.
So yesterday my dad, my niece and I joined Weight Watchers. This is kind of a major deal for me because even though I don't want to lose a huge amount of weight, not even 20 pounds, I do have to re-confront all my old issues. This time I'll try to start by not imagining that being in control of my eating habits somehow compensates for being out of control in other ways.