Tuesday, December 20, 2005


Sometimes I wonder why I try so hard and I need to start wondering more about why I lack the ability to question the thought processes and actions of people who seem less than competent in matters that mean a lot to me. I really should not leave the office of my girl's counselor always feeling like a shitty parent who can't win no matter what she does. I don't get why it never occurs to me to question this woman about why she isn't encouraging my girl to talk to me about her apparently many complaints. At best, she tells me that I should try to encourage the girl to talk to me about it. At worst, she tells me it's my tough luck and that sometimes kids stay mad for a long time.
All I know is that on our way there we were laughing and joking and having a great time and on the way home I just felt like crying. My personal experience with this counseling that is supposed to be for the girl is that it makes me feel estranged and like a crappy parent and like I'm stupid for thinking that just because she talks to me all the time and seems happy that doesn't mean she is adjusting to the situation at all. When does the counseling get to the part that helps her adjust? So far all she seems to be learning is that it's okay to talk behind my back and not tell me when she's mad or unhappy and that it's okay to stay angry and not tell me about it.


Peruby said...

I noticed this happening with me and my daughter, also. I couldn't figure out why we would laugh and have fun and then she turned into somebody I didn't know during the counselling sessions.

I have decided to take a break from the therapy. I am wondering if my daughter (who is fourteen) thinks that she is some awful teenager and if she needs counselling then she will act the part.

It just isn't working for us, either.

Pam said...

It helps a little know it's not just me. I'm so hesitant to question someone who is supposed to be an authority on this type of thing, but I really get the feeling the situation is doing more harm than good.