Tuesday, March 08, 2005

The Vortex

It seems the vortex is in full effect now. This time I'm on the outskirts, watching some people close to me go through it. I'm glad that this time I'm not the one getting sucked into it. I've taken that wild ride a few times before and it seems like every time it's with more force and takes longer to come to terms with the aftermath. I know the vortex is just life. It's life when you feel circumstances pulling you away from what is known and secure to something not yet visible or definable. It makes your heart race and keeps you up at night. Days take forever and rush by at the same time. Everything changes so fast but you can't wait to find out what the final outcome is really going to be, so you feel impatient despite the speed. The vortex makes it hard to breathe.
I've tried resisting and I've tried leaping right in. In the end it's all the same. The vortex is going to draw you in when it's your turn and spit you back out when the necessary work is done. The best way to ride it is like a leaf floating on a current. Let it take you where it will. It pulls at you harder the more you try to resist. If you try to direct where it goes, it will hurt you with the strain of it. When you think you know what it means, all that means is it will turn around and prove you wrong. What you need to do is trust your buoyancy. Breathe deep and keep yourself light, the better to float. Keep your wits about you the best you can. The vortex never lasts forever, it just feels that way, but you have to live with whatever consequences it may bring.
You can't control the vortex. You can't choose it or unchoose it. It chooses you. Sometimes it seems like it is bringing you your deepest desires, and then shows you why you were wishing for the wrong thing. It's why they say, "Be careful what you wish for, it may come true." The vortex is what taught me to be a better, more careful wisher.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Great advice! I wonder why some of those wishes take a lifetime to present themselves! May the force be with me. :)