Tuesday, June 05, 2007

Rut or Groove?

So many changes going on around me. The ones happening to me are minimal and welcome (like the new situation with the same old job), but things are spinning around and away in my midst. Big changes afoot for other folks that are rocking the nice safe little bubble routine world I have put together for myself. It reminds me that nothing always stays the same, not even the stable, quiet times.
I've noticed I get quiet here when gentle routine has taken over my days. Is it that I'm afraid writing about it will jinx it and make something big happen to change it? Am I afraid that if I inspect it in too much detail I will find fault and then start to tug on a stray loose thread that will unravel everything? If I stay perfectly still, nothing will ever change. That's what I try to fool myself into believing. Then people keep on going and making major changes all around me and those changes intrude on my bubble. Thankfully, they remind me nothing ever stays the same. And I don't want to stay the same. Living means growing and growing means changing.
I've been thinking about travel lately. Used to be I set out for all kinds of far flung parts all by myself, with no real plan. Now I won't even drive down to Boston for a day. How is that not-driving-to-Boston person even me? Can the wanderlust really be lost or is it just hibernating and waiting for its chance to come out again when the daily obligations eventually lift?

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